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Divorce was, a rare occurrence within the British Muslims, but lately it has become more common due to the fact that the husband and wife are both ignorant of Islam and the guidelines that Islam has set. These guidelines if followed and acted upon, will lead to a successful and happy marriage. This leaflet deals with the ideal pious Muslim wife and the characteristics she should have and, the do's and don'ts which acted upon will bring her happiness in this life, her husband will never divorce her (inshallah) and Jannah will be waiting for her in the hereafter.
1. A pious wife is one who is obedient to Allah and her husband.
The Prophet (SAW) said:
"The woman who performs her five daily prayers and keeps the fast of Ramadan and protects herself from evil acts ie. adultery and obeys her husband, has a choice to enter heaven from whichever door she pleases."
The wife should leave no stone unturned in obeying, respecting, serving and pleasing her husband. She should be obedient and loyal with a willing heart and obey him without hesitation and negligence in all matters (which do not violate the Shari'ah) which would, in the cases of disobedience, put the husband to trouble or deprive him of some service. No one holds any right over anybody greater than the right of the husband over his wife and to emphasise the high status of the husband and that the wife should have a great regard for him.
The Prophet (SAW) said:
"If I were to allow anyone to prostrate himself before another then I would have ordered a wife to prostrate herself before her husband."
In another Hadith He (SAW) has said:
"The rights of the husband on the wife are so great that if puss flows on the husbands body and the woman licks it clean, then this right will still not be fully fulfilled." (TARGHEEB ).
By being obedient, she will achieve the reward of jihad by just sitting in her own house as in the Hadith narrated by Ibne Abbas (R.A) the Prophet (SAW) said:
"Convey this message on my behalf to all the wives that they can achieve the reward of jihad by obeying their husband, but very few women consider this to be a reward."
Furthermore, as can be seen from the first Hadith that her obedience will liberate her in the life hereafter and she will inherit the treasures of Jannah. She will also be honoured in such a way that all the eight doors of Jannah will be opened for her and she will enter from the one she chooses and not be directed to any specific gate by the angels. However, if she is disobedient, and her husband is displeased with her, her salat will not be accepted nor will any of her good deeds be accepted.
The Prophet (SAW) has said :
"There are three persons whose salaah is not accepted nor does any good act of theirs reach the sky.('The second one mentioned is a woman whose husband is displeased with her.)" (BAIHAQI)
Note. It is not permissible for her to obey him when he orders her to do a thing which is against the commands of Allah (S.W.T)
The Prophet (SAW) has said :
"Where disobedience to Allah (S.W.T) is caused, obedience to creatures is not permissible."
For example, if he forbids her to read her five daily prayers or orders her to eat or drink something haram etc., then she should not obey him as it is a sin to obey him in matters that are against the Shari'ah.
2. A pious wife is one who doesn't permit strangers to enter her house and anyone else who's entering her house displeases her husband, even though it maybe her friends.
The Prophet (SAW) has said :
"O men! It is your right over your wives that they do not seat strangers on your bed and do not allow those men whose coming to your house you do not like, without your permission." (TIRMIDHI).
3. One who pleases her husband when he looks at her.
The Prophet (SAW) said :
"That the best woman is the one that pleases her husband. When he looks at her, she pleases him." (BAIHAQI).
Note. It is the habit of certain women as soon as the husband steps into the house after a tiring day at work, they start complaining that such and such a thing is not in the house or begin to shout at the children. A pious wife does not have such a bad habit as she welcomes him cheerfully and pleases him with her company, helps him in taking off his shoes and offering him slippers and cheerfully inquires about his work, welfare and tries to amuse him.
4. One who guards and preserves her house and her husbands wealth in his absence the Prophet (SAW) said :
"The best woman is when he absents himself (goes away on a journey etc.) she protects his wealth and honour." (BAIHAQI)
5. One who assists her husband in the matters of Deen
The Prophet (SAW) said :
"The world is a commodity and the best commodity is a pious woman who assists her husband in matters concerning the hereafter." (RAZEEN).
6. One who, if her husband is angry with her, keeps on politely asking for forgiveness until he forgives her and is pleased with her again.
The Prophet (SAW) has said :
"Shall I inform you which woman will enter heaven?" "the sahaba (R.A) replied "yes most certainly."
Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallum said "the woman who has children, is loveable, when she becomes angry the husband consoles her and when the husband becomes angry she says that as long as you do not become pleased with me, I will not even apply surmah (antimony) to my eyes." (TABRANI)
7. One who manages the household affairs wisely, decorates and furnishes the house. Keeps it clean and tidy, renders personal services such as cooking etc., and doesn't over incur expenditure of which the husband disapproves.
8. One who doesn't ask her husband for more than he can afford.
9. One who doesn't engage herself in optional worship (nafal ibadat) without his permission. As this optional worship may hinder the discharge of the husband's rights.
The Prophet (SAW) has said:
"It is not permissible for any woman to fast optionally without her husband's permission, and it is not permissible for her to allow anyone into his house without permission." (BUKHARI).
10. One who doesn't disclose one's sexual relationship with her husband to others. It is immodest and shameless to describe the act of love-making before friends. The newly-married don't hesitate to reveal their experiences to their friends, this is HARAM.
The Prophet (SAW) has said :
"The worst person on the Day of QIY AMAH will be the one who reveals the private life of his wife to others." (MUSLIMS).
The Prophet (SAW) also said :
"Among abuse of trust, the greatest abuse of trust in the court of Allah on the Day of Judgement is that the husband may go to his wife or the wife may go to the husband (referring to the act of love-making) and thereafter they reveal this secret to others." (ABU DAUD).
11. One when her husband desires and calls her, she comes happily.
The prophet (SAW) has said :
"When a husband calls his wife at night to have relations with her and she refuses without a valid reason, she is cursed through the night by the angles." (IBUKHARI)
12. One who doesn't leave her house without her husband's consent.
The prophet (SAW) has said :
"When a woman leaves the house without her husband's consent, all the angles of the skies and the entire universe curse her, for this act until she returns home." (TABRANI)
13. One who after sitting with her friends or a gathering doesn't describe any woman to her husband, as this may incline the husband towards this woman.
The Prophet (SAW) has said :
"O woman. After sitting in a gathering of women, do not go home and explicitly describe any woman to your husband." (MUSLIM)
14. One who doesn't offend the husband by being harsh to his relations especially the in-laws.
15. One who if she has to go out due to some necessity, instead of walking in the middle of the road, she walks on the side of the road.
Hazrat Osayd reports that once, while walking, men and women intermingled on the way, the Prophet (SAW) asked women to be in the rear and walk on the side of the path. (ABU DAUD)
If the wife has the above mentioned characteristics, she will be the most precious treasure to her husband and he will never divorce her (inshallah) as she will be a source of joy and comfort for him.
The Prophet (SAW) said :
The whole world is a provision and the best object of benefit of the world is the virtuous wife.
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